Most single moms will not feel comfortable with the idea of dating. This experience is not necessarily a ‘walk-in-the-park,’ especially for those who already have a child. They are aware that this addition in their life is an unwelcome reality to most single men. On the part of the single mom, they are afraid to invest their emotion in a relationship that will not work. However, you will be surprised to know that some things remain the same.
Things that Single Moms May Not Expect when Dating
When single moms decide to
enter the dating game again, they will mostly prepare themselves for the worst
things that can happen. Nevertheless, you will be surprised that most people
still prefer traditional dates. There may be singles who have already given up
on watching the opera, going on the movie theater, but most still choose the
good old ways.
Some Men Prefer the Traditional Dating Method
Regardless of how you might feel towards it, the traditional date is
still prevalent among single men. Some of them will allow you to cover for a
certain portion of the check if you insist, but normally they are willing to
handle the bill. Single moms will
also be surprised that men will be ready to date them. Some smart men will not
treat your kids as extra baggage. They will look at you as a multi-faceted
person and not just your role as a mom. Some guys will also admire you for
being a great parent.
Bachelors are not necessarily immature. This thing might shock you, but
it is true. Some men will understand the demands
and responsibilities of being a single parent.
They will respect your commitment and are willing to be flexible to suit your
preference. Most men will know how to provide a good service to their dating partners. However, although some
things remain the same, you still have to avoid committing common mistakes to
make this an incredible experience.
Common Mistakes that Single Moms Need to Avoid When Dating
It will take a long time to adjust to being a single mom. Nonetheless,
there will come a time when you will have to address your after-divorce life.
As we mentioned above, the thought of going on a date should not scare you. We
will make it easier for you by highlighting the mistakes that single moms need to avoid.
Being Alone for Too Long
You will find it easier to date again if you have not been alone for a
longer period. After you have managed to recover from the grueling and
emotionally-draining divorce process, you might want to slowly consider the
idea of dating someone. Some single
moms become too comfortable with being alone, and once they decide to go back and
date again, they find the process too intricate. We are not necessarily asking
you to date a random guy carelessly, but you can gradually reintroduce yourself
to the process. You might try online
dating if the idea of seeing someone in public scares you.
Getting Exclusive Too Quickly
Some single moms decide to enter a serious relationship too soon after
their divorce. You should not exclusively date when your experience from your
past relationship is still fresh. By dating
different people, you will compare your prospected partner and find out who
among them is willing to commit. A monogamous relationship should not be forced,
but the person should be ready to commit.
Going on a Date Too Soon
You are probably scratching your head upon reading this mistake from the
single moms since we already advised
you to get yourself back in the game. To make it easier to understand, you need
to be emotionally adequate before returning to the dating game. You will need some time to heal and analyze what went
wrong in your past relationship. Prepare yourself for an amazing ride; invest
in yourself if you are not yet available.
Avoid Being Intimate Too Early
Most single moms will think
that intimacy is a part of a relationship; unfortunately, this is a common
misconception. They normally believe that no one will be willing to wait when
it comes to sex. It may have been a while since they became intimate with the
opposite sex, and they yearn to experience that once more. However, you need to
remind yourself that sexual interaction can connect you emotionally. What
happens if you suddenly realize that you are a mismatch? You will find it hard
to leave your relationship once that happens.
Nonetheless, there are times that no matter how much you try to avoid
these mistakes, there are still instances that problems may occur.
Problems that Dating Single Moms Normally Encounter
Being a single mom results from a natural consequence; they may be going
through a legal dissolution, or their spouse has probably passed away. There
are times that single moms will
choose to focus on raising their children, but you should never discount the
fact that you still have a chance on love. You should never let the problems you
will encounter discourage you from dating.
The Time Issues
Single moms may find it difficult to have
time to spend on a relationship. In most cases, their schedules are filled with
tasks such as helping the kids with their homework, commuting, work, and
others. When you have adequate time to squeeze in your romantic life, be sure to
choose a healthy relationship. You should never use your limited time as an
excuse for ruining your relationship. If you feel like your hours are too
constrained that prevents you from going on a date, you need to maintain your
social connection with those people who can possibly become your romantic
partner in the future.
The Jealousy of the Kids
The kids will usually want the affection of their parents to belong
exclusively to them. They often resent other people who are receiving the
affection of their parents. Single moms
should not hastily introduce their dating
partners to their kids. You should try seeing different people until you find
your perfect match. Even if you are concerned about the feeling of your kids,
it should not discourage you from pursuing a romantic relationship. Your
children will soon understand once they see that you are happy. If you feel
like they are getting jealous, you can schedule a time exclusively for your
kids.
Dating a Non-Parent
Your children might object to your romantic relationship if you date a
non-parent guy. Make sure that you establish a solid relationship with him
first before introducing him to your kids. The kids may sometimes feel insecure
in this type of relationship. There are times that they will feel at a loss
after the death, separation, or divorce, and an emotional disturbance is the last
thing they need. If you are dating a bachelor and you plan to introduce him to
your kids, you may want to find a mutual activity that will interest both
parties.
Negative Self-Perception
Another problem that single moms
may encounter when dating is the
unwillingness of their partner to go out with them due to some limitations.
There are instances when they will think that it takes too much effort and will
not even consider going on a serious relationship with you. During those
instances, your self-esteem might be affected. You may develop a negative
self-perception due to the constant rejection that you are receiving. You must
have your support system to fill up your needs during those times.
Dealing with Issues
Though you may encounter many issues when you are planning to re-enter
the dating realm, you will soon realize that there will be someone willing to
accept you. They will understand that your top priority is your kids. Make sure
that you express your feelings towards him so he will be secured even though
your time for him is a bit constrained. He will also allow you to handle your
kids independently and discipline them. However, you may ask for their help
during complex situations and talk with your kids rationally. Ask them to speak
with you privately if they find something odd about your kids. Avoid creating a
drama that pertains to your former husband and offer your emotional support to
your partner when he needs it.
Finally, we recommend you trust your instinct and intuition. You will
know whether you are prepared to go out again or still require some time to
heal. You should never listen to others who will discourage you from dating.
Pay attention to your partner and think about how you will build your future
together. Single moms will realize
that it is relatively easy for them to adjust to dating life.
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