How to Have a Peaceful Divorce


Nobody enters into their marriage while anticipating that it will just end up in separation. However, based on recent statistics, around 20% of the marriage ends during the first five years of the wedding, and 48% will result in a legal dissolution after 20 years. Divorce is an expensive, heart-wrenching, and painful process, but there is a healthier way to separate to avoid further emotional damage.



Mediation, Communication, and Cooperation


How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

During the early phase of the divorce, it will typically unleash a string of negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, grief, and anger. These feelings will occur unexpectedly, and that is just normal. As time goes by, the intensity of emotion will gradually subside. While experiencing this heightened amount of emotion, you need to take care of yourself. Study shows that people who are kind to themselves will find it easier to manage the challenge of divorce. The frustration you felt during the initial phase of the divorce is likely to reappear while you are negotiating. You can look at divorce differently; mediation is more favorable than ending up in a brawl inside the court. According to the experts, going on the mediation instead can improve your satisfaction, your relationship with your former spouse and address the kids' needs.


Explaining to the Kids

 How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

There are times that the dissolution of the marriage can be a traumatic event for the kids; the adjustment period can take up to two years. You may also consider the child custody. Then again, children will be more problematic if their parents decide to stay in a complicated relationship. While you are undergoing a divorce, there are ways to make it easier for the kids. You may ask your former spouse to explain the situation together to your kids. It would be best to keep your communication open to your kids. The sudden changes can be an overwhelming experience for the kids but being honest about them can help them quickly adapt to their new situation. We will discuss this further later in this article.


Take Care of Your Well-Being


The changes that you are undergoing are a daunting experience for your kids and you as well. Even though you are feeling scared, angry, or stressed, you need to take good care of yourself. Reach out to your friends and loved ones for comfort and assistance. There are also support groups in your community that will help you handle the end of the marriage.


Consult a Psychologist

 How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Finally, the psychologist can also help in creating a peaceful divorce. A psychologist can provide counseling to the children and the spouses to help you manage the emotions you are feeling and adjust to the recent changes in your life. They may also assist in helping you understand the things that contributed to the failure of your marriage and make sure that it will not happen again in your next relationship. The psychologist's support can help you regain your senses and find the peace you desire.


How to Explain the Divorce Process to Your Kids


Divorce is, without a doubt, a painful process. You are facing a challenging legal, financial and emotional issue. There are times when you will feel extreme hatred towards your partner; however, no matter how much you hate your spouse, you should never say bad things about them, especially in front of your kids. So if the experts are prohibiting you from telling your situation to the kids, how will you explain the divorce to them?



Consider What You Will Tell Them and Their Reaction

 How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Before you explain the current situation of your marriage with the kids, you will need to think about the things that you will tell them and their possible reactions. The legal dissolution of the marriage may be challenging for the kids since they are generally clueless about what is happening. Though they are probably aware of your marriage problem (even if you are hiding it), they will still find it challenging to adjust to the changes they may encounter. You should also guarantee that the children will know about the separation directly from you and not from their relatives or friends.


Talk to Them Together

 How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

In a perfect scenario, both the parents will be talking to the kids. They will probably ask their kids to sit down and talk about the changes in their relationship. You need to convey the message to the children that you amicably reached this decision, and it will only aggravate the situation if both of you decide to stay in a relationship. Be consistent in explaining to your kids; it would be challenging if the parents were on a different page since it could encourage the kids to look at one party as the villain. Remember that your ultimate goal of explaining the divorce to them is for the kids' good. Reiterate that to yourself repeatedly and try not to burst out in anger and frustration when talking to them about the divorce.


Be Honest


The best possible way to explain the separation to your kids is, to be honest. Tell them that both of you have decided to end the marriage and that they should expect some changes with the family. However, you also need to reassure them that your love for them will remain constant no matter what. You should clarify that both of you will remain as their parents, and you will be proactive in raising them. You need to take responsibility for your action and tell the kids that your role as parents will not change. Only the setup will change and not your duties as parents.


Tell Them That It is The End of the Marriage

 How to Have a Peaceful Divorce

If possible, you should also consider telling them that you have no plan to get back together. There are times that the kids will do some measures to 'fix' it, and it will only hurt them further. If there is no possible reconciliation in your marriage, you should make it clear to your kids.


There are different ways in how your kids will react towards the divorce. Regardless of their reaction, it would be best to allow them to express their emotion and thought freely.

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